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Hold Your Love

by DRMCTHR

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1.
In My Head 04:54
Everybody hurts sometimes But, I think I've lost my mind I swear to you a thousand times It's okay to leave me behind Remember the sun in your eyes? 'Cause I go back all the time It's there that I can die I've been in my head this time So, how do you turn this off? Maybe I'm too gone / Do you think of giving up? God, please make this stop So, how do you turn this off? Maybe I'm too lost / Do you think of giving up? God, Please make this stop Is it worth it to be this haunted? Do I really want it? Do I really want it? Have I been sleeping with the dark all along? You've been waiting at home with the lights on God, can you make this stop? I think I'm giving up / Fuck it, I'm too gone How do you turn this thing off? You could stay in my room Come down just like we used to I could say that I love you I play pretend 'cause I have to I'm in my head this time/ It's there that I could die I go back all the time / To the sun in your eyes It's okay to leave me behind I swear to you a thousand times I've only lost my mind
2.
Strangers 03:16
Promises kept aren't promises made And every word feels like a lie to me I don't understand Say what you mean and mean what you say I've never been one to run away To be honest, I am so afraid, I am I feel like I've lost myself again I feel like a stranger in my own head I'm tangled up in who I've been But, I can't face myself like this I walk in the door, I'm such a mess And there's so many things I should have said You can't forgive, but I can And I know that you hear me scream And I know it doesn't mean a thing I just want you to try like I have I feel like I've lost you all over again I feel like we're strangers and we don't exist I need to be able to breathe you again But, I can't face you in my head And I've had enough, I'm calling this off You've never been right, I've always been so wrong And I'm giving up on what we have lost I wanted a fight, you didn't give a fuck And, I'm moving on and I think you should, too I'm moving on like I never needed you And now I know that I've lost you again And now we're strangers in my head
3.
Get Lost 04:21
I am afraid that I’ll be erased I try to be someone else / I like to destroy myself I am afraid that I’m a mistake You should want someone else I can’t control myself I’m afraid that I’m afraid That you’re the wave about to break I pray I’ll love you long I pray I’ll love you stronger I just want to get lost in you sometime I am afraid of the words that you say And how they explain that I am in so deep I am afraid that there is no safe here There is just “stay here” and I promise I’ll stay I’m afraid that I’m afraid That you’re the wave about to break I’m about to break You’re the tide and I feel you wash over me You’re the wave and I swear you rip right through me You’re a saint, I am saved, I am undeserving I just think that I’m the devil in your bloodstream When you’re on my mind / I’m lost all the time I die in your eyes / I die in the tide
4.
Sunshine 03:29
I prayed for the rain ‘Cause I found the devil in the sunshine And he’s there all the time I think I’ve lost my faith I find truth in the sins of the people all around me I think that I’m drowning Can you just hear me out? I need you to be here now Can you just hear me out? I need you to cling to now Have you ever been all alone in the dark? All alone with your thoughts? ‘Cause it fucks you up I tried finding saints or someone who could save me Maybe we need saving / We’re all just waiting Maybe I could do the things you wanted Lay in holy water, but I’m drifting father Maybe I could be the things you wanted Lay down in the sunshine / “It’s okay to run this time” I found you in the sunshine You’re there all the time / In the sunshine
5.
Apartment 03:23
Maybe I’m scared of your blank stares It never seems like we’re getting anywhere I think I’m imagining things / Like you and me I say I want you / You say you want to We don’t move I feel like I trip when we do I feel like I trip over you Maybe I’m scared of just being alone I don’t even know / I just want you so You seem like you could be a dream I dream of you and me I’ve got my eyes on you And I don’t know what to do I’m overthinking again I’m overthinking it
6.
Stay Away 03:10
I had that dream again Where I’m alone in my head And on repeat is what you said When your words hit, I thought I was dead I became lifeless / Pale as a ghost, and I liked it Until the quiet crept in I’m breathing like I’m someone else Smoke in my lungs to control myself Stay away You didn’t want me when my colors changed Stay Away You didn’t want me so, why would you stay? Did you hear what came out of my mouth? All I ever used to talk about Is how, for you, I’d kill myself You ask if I’ve gone crazy “You don’t hold me the same” I see you wandering / But, I take all the blame I don’t think they’re listening I don’t think they’re listening, yea Just tell me you’re getting it / Why I’m still here Why I’m still bleeding
7.
Jenna 03:36
Looking down a hole Staring at my phone, hoping you’ll call Even though I know you won’t The truth is, I know you’re gone I know you loved the sea So, now that you’ve got your spot by the beach Why don’t you come back and haunt me? I’d like to tell you I’m sorry For how I left, for the things I said For who I’ve been, wish I could take it back ‘Cause you deserved better than that But, in peace you rest I hate how I left you / I just walked away And there’s things I’ll never get to change I hate how I left you / I just walked away And there’s things I’ll never get to say I fight with the demons in my head About how this all ended I said I’d call you in a day But I drove, and I drove, and I drove away So here I sit, and here I think About how you and I used to drink We’d go wild / “Throw it in the fire” God, I wish things hadn’t changed Jenna, can you hear me? Just tell me that you hear me Jenna, can you hear me? Just tell me that you’re with me Just say you’ll watch over me Just give me a sign or something
8.
HYL 03:32
The cigarette smoke in the air Reminds me of how we left things Get up and grab my coat, “I’ve gotta go” Take a walk to forget this Should I get trashed, drive off the road? No? I guess I’ll go back home And drink myself to sleep You’re gone - where did you go? Did you mean to leave me all alone? Most days, I don’t even miss you But, tonight I kinda miss you I used to hold your love / And now somebody else is I never needed you / Until somebody else did And now you’re somebody else’s And I’m all alone Take another shot at myself I stumbled into hell / I used to be a fighter But, right now I don’t wanna See what you’ve done to me? It hurts to breathe, it hurts to think Of anything / Of you and me Just let me be I had you in my hands / I took what you had left It made me what I am / It’s so sad that this is it I felt it in my chest / The world after you left It’s a shame that what we had Is just hanging from its neck
9.
Gun 04:23
I talked to god / Like I was staring down his gun I fight with my hands up Like I was taught when I was young But, I am lost / There’s no moving on I think of dying more than I had before Please don’t let me die alone I know that I deserve to Please don’t leave mea ll alone I know I don’t deserve you So, take me back to where we stayed Tell me I didn’t go away I fucked it up like always I never kept my promises I am in hell, I won’t be back again I fucked it up like always If I never left your side / Would we be broken? If I ever ran to the light / Would it be broken? If I decided to die / Would you be broken?
10.
Blacked Out 03:43
You're blacked out You're so fucked up in the head right now And you're smoked out In the basement of your parent's house And I will love you until I die I swear to you a thousand times You're broke now I wanna save you, but I don't know how And you're locked down In your bedroom taking pills to drown I'm down on both knees And I'm begging you please Please baby, don't you cry 'Cause it kills me When you say to me "Baby, I wanna die" You take something to help you think You take something else to try and sleep I wanna hold you more than anything Just stay and try, please try to breathe I know everything feels so broken, so broken I know you shouldn't deserve this, you don't deserve this I know sometimes you can't stop crying I know sometimes the loneliness feels daunting If I could, I would steal your darkness But, I can't so please just let the light in And I'm down on both knees I'm begging you, "please baby, don't you cry" 'Cause it kills me when you say to me "Baby, I wanna die"
11.
Believe 05:01
What’s this talk? / And what do you have? What the hell are you getting at? It’s about control, it’s about belief It’s about if you believe in me So, tell me it’s a joke / Tell me what you think Just keep in mind that What you say is destroying me I’ll tell you to go / I’ll tell you I’m done And I’ll keep in mind just what I’ve become I’ve been hiding in the dark I am scared of what we are And everything I’m not Because, it’s so safe to be afraid of everything Maybe you start to yell / Maybe I start to scream I just wonder what you think of me I lose control, I start to sink I wonder if you know this isn’t me Suddenly we’re here / Suddenly we’re lost again Please swear that we’ll find it Believe in; The art, the words, the things I want to be Believe in me

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released November 17, 2017

Under exclusive license to Darkshore Music Group

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DRMCTHR Baltimore, Maryland

Alt. Pop from Baltimore, Maryland.

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