1. |
In My Head
04:54
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Everybody hurts sometimes
But, I think I've lost my mind
I swear to you a thousand times
It's okay to leave me behind
Remember the sun in your eyes?
'Cause I go back all the time
It's there that I can die
I've been in my head this time
So, how do you turn this off?
Maybe I'm too gone / Do you think of giving up?
God, please make this stop
So, how do you turn this off?
Maybe I'm too lost / Do you think of giving up?
God, Please make this stop
Is it worth it to be this haunted?
Do I really want it? Do I really want it?
Have I been sleeping with the dark all along?
You've been waiting at home with the lights on
God, can you make this stop?
I think I'm giving up / Fuck it, I'm too gone
How do you turn this thing off?
You could stay in my room
Come down just like we used to
I could say that I love you
I play pretend 'cause I have to
I'm in my head this time/ It's there that I could die
I go back all the time / To the sun in your eyes
It's okay to leave me behind
I swear to you a thousand times
I've only lost my mind
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2. |
Strangers
03:16
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Promises kept aren't promises made
And every word feels like a lie to me
I don't understand
Say what you mean and mean what you say
I've never been one to run away
To be honest, I am so afraid, I am
I feel like I've lost myself again
I feel like a stranger in my own head
I'm tangled up in who I've been
But, I can't face myself like this
I walk in the door, I'm such a mess
And there's so many things I should have said
You can't forgive, but I can
And I know that you hear me scream
And I know it doesn't mean a thing
I just want you to try like I have
I feel like I've lost you all over again
I feel like we're strangers and we don't exist
I need to be able to breathe you again
But, I can't face you in my head
And I've had enough, I'm calling this off
You've never been right, I've always been so wrong
And I'm giving up on what we have lost
I wanted a fight, you didn't give a fuck
And, I'm moving on and I think you should, too
I'm moving on like I never needed you
And now I know that I've lost you again
And now we're strangers in my head
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3. |
Get Lost
04:21
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I am afraid that I’ll be erased
I try to be someone else / I like to destroy myself
I am afraid that I’m a mistake
You should want someone else
I can’t control myself
I’m afraid that I’m afraid
That you’re the wave about to break
I pray I’ll love you long
I pray I’ll love you stronger
I just want to get lost in you sometime
I am afraid of the words that you say
And how they explain that I am in so deep
I am afraid that there is no safe here
There is just “stay here” and I promise I’ll stay
I’m afraid that I’m afraid
That you’re the wave about to break
I’m about to break
You’re the tide and I feel you wash over me
You’re the wave and I swear you rip right through me
You’re a saint, I am saved, I am undeserving
I just think that I’m the devil in your bloodstream
When you’re on my mind / I’m lost all the time
I die in your eyes / I die in the tide
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4. |
Sunshine
03:29
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I prayed for the rain
‘Cause I found the devil in the sunshine
And he’s there all the time
I think I’ve lost my faith
I find truth in the sins of the people all around me
I think that I’m drowning
Can you just hear me out?
I need you to be here now
Can you just hear me out?
I need you to cling to now
Have you ever been all alone in the dark?
All alone with your thoughts?
‘Cause it fucks you up
I tried finding saints or someone who could save me
Maybe we need saving / We’re all just waiting
Maybe I could do the things you wanted
Lay in holy water, but I’m drifting father
Maybe I could be the things you wanted
Lay down in the sunshine / “It’s okay to run this time”
I found you in the sunshine
You’re there all the time / In the sunshine
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5. |
Apartment
03:23
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Maybe I’m scared of your blank stares
It never seems like we’re getting anywhere
I think I’m imagining things / Like you and me
I say I want you / You say you want to
We don’t move
I feel like I trip when we do
I feel like I trip over you
Maybe I’m scared of just being alone
I don’t even know / I just want you so
You seem like you could be a dream
I dream of you and me
I’ve got my eyes on you
And I don’t know what to do
I’m overthinking again
I’m overthinking it
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6. |
Stay Away
03:10
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I had that dream again
Where I’m alone in my head
And on repeat is what you said
When your words hit, I thought I was dead
I became lifeless / Pale as a ghost, and I liked it
Until the quiet crept in
I’m breathing like I’m someone else
Smoke in my lungs to control myself
Stay away
You didn’t want me when my colors changed
Stay Away
You didn’t want me so, why would you stay?
Did you hear what came out of my mouth?
All I ever used to talk about
Is how, for you, I’d kill myself
You ask if I’ve gone crazy
“You don’t hold me the same”
I see you wandering / But, I take all the blame
I don’t think they’re listening
I don’t think they’re listening, yea
Just tell me you’re getting it / Why I’m still here
Why I’m still bleeding
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7. |
Jenna
03:36
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Looking down a hole
Staring at my phone, hoping you’ll call
Even though I know you won’t
The truth is, I know you’re gone
I know you loved the sea
So, now that you’ve got your spot by the beach
Why don’t you come back and haunt me?
I’d like to tell you I’m sorry
For how I left, for the things I said
For who I’ve been, wish I could take it back
‘Cause you deserved better than that
But, in peace you rest
I hate how I left you / I just walked away
And there’s things I’ll never get to change
I hate how I left you / I just walked away
And there’s things I’ll never get to say
I fight with the demons in my head
About how this all ended
I said I’d call you in a day
But I drove, and I drove, and I drove away
So here I sit, and here I think
About how you and I used to drink
We’d go wild / “Throw it in the fire”
God, I wish things hadn’t changed
Jenna, can you hear me?
Just tell me that you hear me
Jenna, can you hear me?
Just tell me that you’re with me
Just say you’ll watch over me
Just give me a sign or something
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8. |
HYL
03:32
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The cigarette smoke in the air
Reminds me of how we left things
Get up and grab my coat, “I’ve gotta go”
Take a walk to forget this
Should I get trashed, drive off the road?
No? I guess I’ll go back home
And drink myself to sleep
You’re gone - where did you go?
Did you mean to leave me all alone?
Most days, I don’t even miss you
But, tonight I kinda miss you
I used to hold your love / And now somebody else is
I never needed you / Until somebody else did
And now you’re somebody else’s
And I’m all alone
Take another shot at myself
I stumbled into hell / I used to be a fighter
But, right now I don’t wanna
See what you’ve done to me?
It hurts to breathe, it hurts to think
Of anything / Of you and me
Just let me be
I had you in my hands / I took what you had left
It made me what I am / It’s so sad that this is it
I felt it in my chest / The world after you left
It’s a shame that what we had
Is just hanging from its neck
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9. |
Gun
04:23
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I talked to god / Like I was staring down his gun
I fight with my hands up
Like I was taught when I was young
But, I am lost / There’s no moving on
I think of dying more than I had before
Please don’t let me die alone
I know that I deserve to
Please don’t leave mea ll alone
I know I don’t deserve you
So, take me back to where we stayed
Tell me I didn’t go away
I fucked it up like always
I never kept my promises
I am in hell, I won’t be back again
I fucked it up like always
If I never left your side / Would we be broken?
If I ever ran to the light / Would it be broken?
If I decided to die / Would you be broken?
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10. |
Blacked Out
03:43
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You're blacked out
You're so fucked up in the head right now
And you're smoked out
In the basement of your parent's house
And I will love you until I die
I swear to you a thousand times
You're broke now
I wanna save you, but I don't know how
And you're locked down
In your bedroom taking pills to drown
I'm down on both knees
And I'm begging you please
Please baby, don't you cry
'Cause it kills me
When you say to me
"Baby, I wanna die"
You take something to help you think
You take something else to try and sleep
I wanna hold you more than anything
Just stay and try, please try to breathe
I know everything feels so broken, so broken
I know you shouldn't deserve this, you don't deserve this
I know sometimes you can't stop crying
I know sometimes the loneliness feels daunting
If I could, I would steal your darkness
But, I can't so please just let the light in
And I'm down on both knees
I'm begging you, "please baby, don't you cry"
'Cause it kills me when you say to me
"Baby, I wanna die"
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11. |
Believe
05:01
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What’s this talk? / And what do you have?
What the hell are you getting at?
It’s about control, it’s about belief
It’s about if you believe in me
So, tell me it’s a joke / Tell me what you think
Just keep in mind that
What you say is destroying me
I’ll tell you to go / I’ll tell you I’m done
And I’ll keep in mind just what I’ve become
I’ve been hiding in the dark
I am scared of what we are
And everything I’m not
Because, it’s so safe to be afraid of everything
Maybe you start to yell / Maybe I start to scream
I just wonder what you think of me
I lose control, I start to sink
I wonder if you know this isn’t me
Suddenly we’re here / Suddenly we’re lost again
Please swear that we’ll find it
Believe in;
The art, the words, the things I want to be
Believe in me
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